Traveling with the Cleveland Browns (2016 Edition)

This post typifies my trip to Cincinnati; I got drunk, woke up a bit hungover, and then realized that I still had something to do.  As I always say, better late than never! A few days before the trip, my car decided that it didn't want to start.  I thought, "This is it. This is where my journey ends."  But then I thought about everyone with whom I've shared this experience and I decided that I needed to make it work so I sent my car to the shop and I hit up Enterprises Rent-A-Car for a cheap, three-day rental.  What I paid for was a cheap economy rental, but what I got was a nice surprise upgrade to a Jeep Cherokee with an upgraded sound system.  This was already shaping up to be a good trip. Welcome to Slatts Pub, your neighborhood dining spot in Blue Ash, Ohio and home of the Greater Cincinnati Browns Backers Club. I don't know if they roll out the banners just for the Backers Club, but on this night, the club banner was present....

My first (and pretty much only) meal in Nashville; half slab of ribs with Mac-and-Cheese and smoked green beans from Peg Leg Porker Nashville is now on my list of future resident cities.  What a place!  Delicious BBQ, great music everywhere, and friendly people.  The number of people I met that actually lived there remains to be seen, but overall Music City USA passed the litmus test. First let me introduce my partners-in-crime for this trip, Joel and Jessica (with a special guest appearance from Jimmy Haslam. Unfortunately, I slept in just a few minutes too late and missed him at the tailgate party.) They were driving down to meet their family in Tennessee and allowed me to tag along for the ride. After grabbing that delicious BBQ, we stopped by The Dawg House Saloon, official bar of the Middle Tennessee Browns Backers Club.  The sign says it best. On Saturday Night, with the help of the Middle Tennessee ...

This story is brought to you by these sick Nike Dunks that I picked up on eBay. Go Browns!   Funny story: With Tom Brady's return, the cheapest tickets available were going for $90+ so I decided to wait for a good deal.  It was Friday and while scouring my eBay saved search for tickets, I noticed a recently posted auction starting at $60 with a Buy It Now price of $120 for 25-yard line Upper Bowl seats.  I immediately scooped them up and then started thinking about who I'd like to take.  An hour later, my buddy calls and says, "Hey, I have a ticket in my dad's suite for the Browns game and I know that you're going to all of them.  Would you like to go?" "Uh..hell yeah!", I replied.  "I just picked up a couple of tickets to the game, but I should be able to unload them."  I claimed my tickets via TicketMaster, posted them on NFL Ticket Exchange for well below the average market price, and by Saturday morning I had sold the tickets for...

Exhibit A: Both pictures were taken in their respective tailgate lots around 9AM EST Cleveland Browns fans line up around 4am (or earlier) to grab a parking spot in the Muni Lot to tailgate regardless of the opponent.  Washington Redskins fans don't give a shit about the Browns so they show up whenever.  Good for us. As we arrived at the RedZone lot, we looked for other Browns fans. Almost instantly we saw the distinct Hunter Orange color straight ahead; we have arrived.  A group of guys from the Cleveland area took a road trip to our Nation's Capital and got there a little before we did, anticipating a crowd of fans lining up to get into the lots when they opened at 8AM. There was no line; there were no fans. We set up camp and cornhole. Flags were planted; the Browns fans owned the RedZone tailgate lot. As...